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Although it was a quite adventurous day, I must say, where the most inimaginable stories crashed in the most unbelievable ways, I must say that it is almost the happiest day of my life! (The happiest is still to come…)
Don’t know how finally google boy cracked under the awakening pressure of human insistance to take away notoriety from unknown people and give it back to our beloved? The following reconstruction was finally accepted as the official version of the story, and if things did coincidentally happen like that, we may say that it is just ‘a happy accident.’
All started with Ms Salazar uncongruous idea to have the little text in her page be translated. Her devoted brother, Diego (yes, engineer in computering), though much in knowledge with the belly of the machine had little idea of translations and very conspicuous, thought they would know in an internet café. Decided to fullfill her sister’s wish, he stepped into an internet café, asked with rosen eyebrow whether he may eventually get the translation through internet, was immediately answered, ‘but of course, in google‘, and further informed about the steps to do in order to obtain the desired result. Quite happy he sat down, copied the text he wanted to translate and introduced it with care into the space forseen for this.
Happened though the following: WordPress, also quite suspicious about copying possibilities, followed the movement with detail and not knowing in which bizarre UFO the text had landed, started a pulling and shifting in order to get the text out of there. As Google’s millions of megabytes where though infinitely much stronger than poor little WP arm strength, Google finished up by swallowing the whole page, without WP being able to do absolutely anything in order to save the little darling from drowning in the wale’s stomach. In the meantime, Diego, quite surprised of the fact that Google (this enormous machine and invention) took such a long time in order to translate such a short text, started thinking of taking up smoking again, spent a few thoughts on internet owner’s ability to get the money out of the customer’s pocket by giving such a misleading information (oh! it’s very quick, he had been told), felt generally deceived as all his admiration on the performance’s ability of Google was blown by the wind, and waited and waited.
Without him being the slightest aware of it, he was about to be suspected of international comercial terrorism and even of dirty and agressive concurrence probably payed by WordPress, while an orange light went up in WP headquarters. The guy, who usually had absolutely nothing to do but to keep his eye on the possibility the light in question could get on, thing that had never happened, so that he usually spent his time reading comics (this is socially correct!) and other most interesting and highly informative revues, saw his deep meditation suddenly interrupted by the light’s insisting blinking. All of a sudden he remembered all his lessons taken during University in Yale and else where, and started a deep and exhaustive analysis of the situation, whose exact contents we would be unable to reproduce. After an eternity, as it seemed to him, he decidedly made his way up the WP manager’s office, thing he had never done before either and that made him feel a little uneasy, as little used to shining and blundering decor. He mastered his feelings though heroically and telling the secretary it was of highest importance he walked into the office without waiting for an answer. There he was with WP Manager staring at him as if he had seen the devil, so that he just said: “Sir, google is stealing our stream.” (You always say Sir in such situations, even if it is a woman, because it is always men who are supposed to deal with difficult situations.) GM didn’t understand anything about the story, became though a little pale, and politely asked: “Which means?” “The server’s stream, that is usually put on our account, has been eaten up by Google. I have made all the necessary researches and I have proofs, definite and irreversible.” That’s it, GM thought, we are under attack, and although having little hope her request being immediately answered to, she phoned to Google at once and asked for the GM. The secretary luckily understood ‘Worldpress’ and gave her further without any other question. A strange exchange of peaked voices, shouts and yellings was heard from far (secretaries report though they are not absolutely reliable as they show a certain tendency to exagerate).
In the meantime, Diego was still waiting for his translation. Some say, he finally fell into the temptation of smoking his cigarette. Others though, maintain stubbornly the contrary.
“Now,” Google GM said, “we may be perhaps not as quick as you are, Ms Worldpress, but we are just investigating a case of dirty spamming that has blocked all our translation service for 3 hours now! And we deeply suspect that it is someone belonging to your company who has done the thing. Now, if you are attacking me in order to make me forget all your misbehaviours, don’t ever think it will work. Never in the world!” And hang up very nervously.
GM saw all her frustrations deriving from the fact that fat companies did never listen, and even less to a woman, even, yes even if there were so many evidences and proofs with stats and figures and incredible words accompanying the same on the table, come up again and started crying. Not knowing that Google GM, slightly terrorized as he got all of a sudden aware of the meaning of the words he had heard and not considered in his excitement, had already given 7 orders to people in confidence in order to find a link and bridge to WP and try to solve the problem in a diplomatic way. As he knew he was in knowledge of nothing he immediately thought: “we’re infiltered.” Someone was trying to create great dammage to Google by attacking WP with their identity. Shocked by the possibility of such a thing happening, he immediately thought of an alliance with WP to punish, if ever found, the criminal in the worst of ways.
Although such voices were heard in the nearest environment of WP manager, this one, as still drinking her tears without tissue, would not hear it.
The problem was as usually, accidentally solved by me. By putting the adress of the translation on the page, all the currents and streams absorbed beforehand by Google, were again driven to WordPress with the very surprising effect that it started stealing Google’s figures without anyone being the slightest aware of it.
Licenciada Sandra Salazar embraced her brother for what seemed to her a birth day present and went to sleep as happily as she hadn’t for many years.
Were it not enough, an internet hooligan started to put a WordPress page as screen everywhere, and as it was an internet café, it started to seriously destabilize the german company’s balances as it stayed on for hours and hours.
Revolts were announced in the suburbs of Islamabad, Pakistan, at the same time than thousands and thousands of letters of complaint coming from a singular group called ‘the last of Alabama’ suspecting that Google was not seriously taking into consideration their contributions to the revealing of aleatory logic, was irrupting through the feedback nail in WP headquarter offices.
Finally, even the Pentagone was asked for advice, as being suspected of neutrality in matters of Computering and thus able to solve such a difficult question by detecting the origin of the trouble. While protestations were growing, Google GM was about to give in and put my name on first rank if needed by cheating and without paying, when extremely angry voices coming from Germany and France reminded of the fact that all had to happen under the most reliable criteria of scientific exactness and that cheating would cause trouble in the obtaining of results.
Google Manager felt a horrible sadness, born from the evidence that the world did leave little place to little gangsters and internet hooligans and on top of this, his was from Alabama, but could not but give in to the evident pressures. Revolts though started to spring over to Mississippi and Kentucky, and semed to be lurking around New York quarters. The Army was alerted, as you could never know. Google GM looked out of the window, saw an immense raw of immense buildings, thought for a while that day could end up badly and told all his sorrow to a by passing coffee servant. Accidentally the coffee servant was friends with the cousin of someone married to someone working at WordPress, and couldn’t but tell her the news and almost shriking and most colorful tones. This one made some kind of rational synthesis of the whole and went in to WP manager who had just finished wiping up her tears away although she still looked quite un-made-up, so that the vice manager immediately concluded to a broken heart affair and said:”Sorry to interrupt you in these difficult moments, but there is something perhaps urgent that might be solved.” WP manager was thus largely informed and conscious of the fact that same pressures would be done on her, she thought of a subterfuge: she called aunt’s nephew Charles in research engine alpha and told him, please to do something at once. Charles didn’t understand very much about the story but just put some tags on his own computer using yes, his own research engine, and … was very surprised to discover that he could find something with it. What he didn’t know though, was that Google immediately acknowledged more general acknowledgement coming from such a serious establishment, and spammed his own screen with 6 or 7 mentionings of my name.
While German and French were still toasting celebrating their conviction that it was impossible to break aleatory logic, Google GM bursted out laughing when coincidentally he went on the reserach, too of …. the trouble maker in question and discovered an infinite amount of appearances with the best references on his computer. He … didn’t say anything and thought it must have been … a coincidence.
Marginal whispering voices do indicate that their may seriously exist the possibility of a flirt between Google and WordPress managers, although some other laugh on misinterpretation of a comercial agreement. As we are nor further in knowledge, we abstain ourselves of taking any positioning whatsoever.
CONCLUSION: to break aleatory logic means … to take into consideration human’s aleatory behaviour …too!!!
In order to augmentate now search engine’s company who solved the devil’s circle reputation, too, please enter SONJA KASTEN in Google. It’s the top first!
Dinner — 4 comments
